Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse is a very subjective form of abuse. What one person considers to be verbal abuse, another may consider to be an angry outburst or slip of the tongue. A person saying hurtful things out of passion, anger, or frustration may be lacking in self control and poor judgment without being abusive. Losing one’s temper, having a loss of self control, exhibiting angry outbursts, and screaming or yelling are all sinful deeds and need to be addressed as such. Repentance is required for complete healing and restoration to take place. Although inappropriate and hurtful, not all sinful anger is considered abuse. Abusive speech usually includes vicious name-calling, cruel demeaning comments, or threatening harm against any child, teenager, or adult . If the abuser makes physical or sexual threats to harm another, verbal abuse is then considered to be a criminal offense. In this case, the police should be called, especially if the victim feels that she/he or any person in the household is unsafe. Although much of what people consider to be verbal abuse is anger expressed in sinful ways, one must take care to recognize true abuse when it occurs and act upon it. Nevertheless, it is important to differentiate between foolish talk, a lack of self control, insensitivity, and actual malicious behavior. One must never sweep inappropriate sexual or demeaning comments under the carpet, but instead take action, even if it means reporting it to a counselor, pastor, or police officer. The victim of verbal abuse must take care to avoid retaliating with abuse or angry outbursts. When the victim banters back and forth, downplaying the severity, it does not change the circumstances, but instead, inflames them, and makes both parties into abusers. Correcting someone who is angry or verbally abusive must be done biblically, while being honest enough to tell the perpetrator that one is not comfortable with his/her speech. This must follow the biblical pattern, remembering to take into account the passages found in Matthew 7:1-5, Ephesians 4:15, and Proverbs 15:1. If the person using inappropriate language does not stop after loving correction, then it may be time to consult a pastor or other leader for help according to Matthew 18:15-17. More often than not, the person whose speech is angry or abusive needs the life-saving power of Jesus Christ in his/her life, just as every person does. Counseling or mentoring can help the sinning person grow in his or her walk with the Lord, and this person may be taught how to speak biblically instead of angrily or foolishly. After learning how to apply Scriptural truth, and to trust in the power of the Holy Spirit, people oftentimes can escape their sinful patterns of behavior and speech, and learn how to use their words for good instead of evil. It cannot be stressed enough however, that truly malicious and abusive speech needs to be addressed by contacting leaders of the church and/or the legal authorities if not repented of and danger is imminent.
Verbal abuse is a very subjective form of abuse. What one person considers to be verbal abuse, another may consider to be an angry outburst or slip of the tongue. A person saying hurtful things out of passion, anger, or frustration may be lacking in self control and poor judgment without being abusive. Losing one’s temper, having a loss of self control, exhibiting angry outbursts, and screaming or yelling are all sinful deeds and need to be addressed as such. Repentance is required for complete healing and restoration to take place. Although inappropriate and hurtful, not all sinful anger is considered abuse. Abusive speech usually includes vicious name-calling, cruel demeaning comments, or threatening harm against any child, teenager, or adult . If the abuser makes physical or sexual threats to harm another, verbal abuse is then considered to be a criminal offense. In this case, the police should be called, especially if the victim feels that she/he or any person in the household is unsafe. Although much of what people consider to be verbal abuse is anger expressed in sinful ways, one must take care to recognize true abuse when it occurs and act upon it. Nevertheless, it is important to differentiate between foolish talk, a lack of self control, insensitivity, and actual malicious behavior. One must never sweep inappropriate sexual or demeaning comments under the carpet, but instead take action, even if it means reporting it to a counselor, pastor, or police officer. The victim of verbal abuse must take care to avoid retaliating with abuse or angry outbursts. When the victim banters back and forth, downplaying the severity, it does not change the circumstances, but instead, inflames them, and makes both parties into abusers. Correcting someone who is angry or verbally abusive must be done biblically, while being honest enough to tell the perpetrator that one is not comfortable with his/her speech. This must follow the biblical pattern, remembering to take into account the passages found in Matthew 7:1-5, Ephesians 4:15, and Proverbs 15:1. If the person using inappropriate language does not stop after loving correction, then it may be time to consult a pastor or other leader for help according to Matthew 18:15-17. More often than not, the person whose speech is angry or abusive needs the life-saving power of Jesus Christ in his/her life, just as every person does. Counseling or mentoring can help the sinning person grow in his or her walk with the Lord, and this person may be taught how to speak biblically instead of angrily or foolishly. After learning how to apply Scriptural truth, and to trust in the power of the Holy Spirit, people oftentimes can escape their sinful patterns of behavior and speech, and learn how to use their words for good instead of evil. It cannot be stressed enough however, that truly malicious and abusive speech needs to be addressed by contacting leaders of the church and/or the legal authorities if not repented of and danger is imminent.
(Our next blog post will discuss the different
types of physical abuse and the steps one should take when faced with this type
of abuse.)
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