Naming Daddy

Question: Is it ok for my daughter to call my husband "Daddy" when he is not her biological father?

Answer: Of course, it's ok as long as it's ok with both your husband and your child. There is nothing wrong with a child calling a stepfather, Daddy, especially if her biological father is not involved in her life.  The term “Daddy” is a term of endearment and encompasses more than one of a biological nature. Being a dad or daddy isn't about the conception, but rather the man who is raising, loving, training, and being there for the child. It's not a term to use loosely with any man (or boyfriend), but rather for the one who is truly committed to raising and caring for the child for the whole of the child's life.  As long as both the child and the stepparent are comfortable with the term, then, there is no problem. The influence of a father on a child’s life is paramount, and the bonding that can occur with a stepparent and the child can be just as strong as that of a biological parent.

However, a child should never be forced to call a stepparent by that name. An older child may find it uncomfortable and difficult to call a man such a meaningful term of endearment, especially if the child hasn't known the man for very long or if the biological father is already "Daddy" and involved in the child's life. Some families have chosen to use an alternative nickname for the stepparent, such as “Daddy-Jack” or another of their choosing.  Regardless of whether or not the child calls the stepparent Dad or not, the child must always be respectful of both the parents and stepparents in their lives. God brought this stepparent into her life for a reason, and the child is required to honor and respect him. If it is your husband that is uncomfortable, you need to make sure you discuss the reasons why. Typically, forging a new family together isn’t easy, but seeking God's Word and communicating with each other is the key to successfully bridging any obstacle. As a married couple, you need to discuss the matter and be in agreement of what is best for the family and, in particular, the child.

Remember though, that as Christians we too are adopted. Though God has always been our creator, He has not always been our Heavenly Father because we were first born into a nature of sin and death. However, it was through Jesus Christ and His sacrifice that we were saved from our old life and adopted into the family of God. Through our salvation, we have a new family; other Christians become our brothers and sisters, and God becomes our Heavenly Father. And even though we were previously born of death, we are encouraged in His Holy Word that not only God is our father, but to call him accordingly. He is our "Dad!” (Romans 8:14-17) We are not secondary citizens or slaves in our new "family." Instead, God, Himself, recognizes us as His children and loves us in return. There is nothing more exciting than being totally and completely accepted from those who love us!

Whatever you do and whatever you decide, remember that the terminology or names of parental roles isn't as important as the role God has imparted on you: to lead and love your family in a God-honoring and Christ-centered home.