Answer: As a daughter, it
can be hard to build a better relationship with our dads. Not because we don't
love them, but because we just don't share the same interests. We can't
help it. We just don't understand his undying passion for that sports team, or
that outdoor hobby, or that disgusting, unhealthy favorite junk food, which he
seems to inhale. (Yes, dad, I'm talking about you. Eat healthier! I want you to
live a long, long time.) Anyways, regardless of our feelings about his
obsessions, it's important as a daughter to get to know those interests, likes,
and dislikes. Then, we need to accommodate our fathers by inviting him over and
cooking his favorite meal, or playing his favorite card game, or even watching
his favorite television show or sports program with him. Not to mention, you'll
probably earn extra brownie points if you take the time to learn a little bit
about his favorite sports team, like who the pitcher or quarterback is or how
their season is going thus far.
Be forewarned, guys are rarely as chatty as girls. Don't
expect your dad to openly shower you with information and clues on what you can
do to build the relationship. You may have to corner him and ask him directly,
"How did your team do in the game last night?," "Have you been
golfing lately?", or "Did you go to that Men's Bible Study?"
Yes, you may even have to take the initiative and invite him out for dinner and
a movie for a special daughter-dad date. While fathers may not express it, they
sometimes get jealous of their daughter's relationship with her mom. Girls
(mothers & daughters) have a natural inclination to express feelings and
details, which guys do not. So, make sure your dad knows he's appreciated and
don't leave him in the dark about important things that happen in your life.
You may need to take even more initiative when your
father is retired or elderly. Without employment or a regular schedule, fathers
find themselves with more time on their hands than what they know what to do
with. One mistake we as humans make is that we put off building family
relationships until after we've established our career, earned more money, or
have more free time. The problem is once we reach the" after" point,
everyone else is just as busy with their lives. Your elderly father and/or parents
need to know that they still matter, even in your adult life. Many elderly
folks would appreciate a weekly call or visit from their kids or grandkids. Not
to mention, they tend to feel hurt if they do not receive it. In
addition, some elderly believe that if a child does not take the initiative
that means he or she does not respect them. By taking the initiative, you are showing your elderly father that you honor and respect your parents, just as
the Bible commands. (Deuteronomy 5:16)
In the same way, let's make sure we do not commit to the same mistakes as so many others. Let's make sure that the busyness in our lives do not hinder our relationships with our children or our parents. If we let the hectic schedule of our lives consume us, we may find that we miss our chance either through the death of a failed relationship or the physical separation of death of a loved one. Life is short, much shorter than we realize. Even if you struggle to have a relationship with your father due to his past failures or transgressions against you, today is the day for you to forgive and put the past behind you. Do not let your heart harden and miss the restoration God wants for you and your relationship with your father. If you find that his infraction is too great to overcome, don't be afraid to seek biblical counsel. Do all that you can to purpose and foster and build your relationship with your dad, so you can live your life without regret.
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