According to the Scriptures, God’s plan for human
conception is sexual union between a man and woman within the confines of a
legal marriage covenant. (This is not to say that in-vitro conception for a
married couple is outside of God's plans, but rather a couple should consider
the ethical ramifications before making such an important decision.) Moreover,
it is God’s desire that children be raised by both a father as well as a
mother. Both roles are instrumental in the growth and development of a child.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, with the breakup of many marriages, and the
popularity of premarital sex, many individuals are placed in positions of
single parenting, which, although very
difficult, can be accomplished with the help, support, and nurturing of the
local church and community of believers. Regardless of how a child is
conceived, he or she is a gift from God and is very precious in His sight.
Before deciding on taking this action, you should evaluate your surroundings
and your motivations.
When you evaluate your surroundings, you should consider
are they conducive to raising a child? Bringing or bearing a child into your
home should not be done selfishly to only satisfy your personal needs. A child
is a heavy responsibility, and his or her welfare should be placed above yours.
Consider what it best for the child. Would bearing a child without spousal
support for you be best for the child? Are there godly
male influences that could be to help nurture the child and to be good male
role models for the child? Or is this decision based solely on what you as a single woman feels would be fulfilling to
you? Consider your occupation, your time
allowances, your support system. Not to mention, when you go to a sperm bank
there are there are financial costs to consider, health risks to you and the
potential child, health history of donor, and ethical ramifications. This
matter should never be done lightly without proper consideration. A lot of
people don't have the opportunity to really consider all the implications and
consequences before their pregnancy, but you do and you
have a responsibility and privilege to do so.
But there is a greater question here that must be
answered beforehand and that question is why? Why a sperm bank? Why now? Why
steal this gift for yourself instead of waiting for God's blessing? Often
times, the sin lies in the motivation, not necessarily the act. That is why we
must look to God's Word for your answers.
Sometimes, as a single woman, the hardest thing is to
trust in God and have patience while we wait on Him. It's especially hard when
the biological clock is ticking down, and it seems at times that is all you can
hear. You fear all your dreams of a family will never happen. However,
that very worry is a sin. When you worry, concerned that your ideal plan isn't
happening the way you wanted or expected, you are saying to God that He doesn't
know what He's doing. You're saying that you know the best plan for your life,
and that He is wrong, and that you don't trust him to take care of you or to
supply your needs. When you worry or doubt, you display an astounding amount of
pride, haughtiness, and foolishness to think your way is better than God's way.
We forget that we aren't supposed to understand all the time why things work
out (or don't work out) because God's ways are far above our ways. They are
beyond our human reasoning. (Isaiah 55:6-9) When you worry, you also
accuse God of being a liar. When he has clearly promised to give you good
things if you follow and trust him, but you lose patience and don't believe He
will. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
...Seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be
afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the
kingdom." (Luke 12:22-34) Instead, we should take our worries
about child-bearing, about finding someone, and all our stored-up dreams, and
give them all to Him and not let it rule our minds and thinking. That's the
only way to find peace and contentment in this life, by giving it all (our
worries and anxieties and plans) to Him. "Do not be
anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which
transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
It's not easy to trust. It rarely ever is, but God can do
great things. He can do amazing, miraculous things. He can also use these
hardships as a way to make you a better, stronger person, and He does all this
out of love. He opened the barren womb of Sarah in Genesis. He provided a
husband and a family to Ruth, even after she was widowed and seemed destined to
be single for the rest of her days. He also healed a woman with a bleeding
disease in Luke 8:40-48. God cares about women; He cares about you.
Whenever you doubt His plan for you, remember that nothing is impossible with
God and that He has interceded for both man and woman alike countless times in
his Holy Word. You are not an exception to His love or His plan; instead,
you're an exceptional part of it.
So, before you make any decisions, consider your
motivations. Do not let selfishness, or pride, or worry steer your heart. If it
seems maternal instincts are driving your desires instead of letting God
control them, mentor children in need,
babysit your friends' children, even get involved in Children's Ministries here
at church. These instincts are oftentimes satisfied
when you spend some time investing and nurturing other little ones. Use your
passion and desire to make others better. Sometimes, by getting involved, it
may be God's way of preparing you for the future. If you feel especially called
to minister to children in your home and be a mother, there are many, many
children in the foster system that would benefit from a healthy, godly home.
Why not adopt? Why not take in and care for this gift of God that was
unfortunately discarded, either through accident or choice, by his or her
parents? You can do a lot of good with your passion, as long as it's following
God's will and not your own. Make your decision for the greater good, according
to God's Word. Perhaps, in the end, there is another action you should take
that is much more spiritually healthy and rewarding than taking matters into
your own hands and visiting a sperm bank.
For more information about the official position by the
Assemblies of God denomination on these issues as well as others, please visit www.ag.org/top/Beliefs/Position_Papers/index.cfm
